Sundays

Sundays are a nice routine for us.

we enjoy out Immaculate Heart of Mary

Catholic church in Scarsdale.  We attend the 12 noon Mass

and always seem to be about 2 minutes late!? 

Tony picks up the Bulletin on his way out and whether it's in the car

or at brunch he will read it cover to cover, sometimes highlighting

things he wants to call the rectory about.  It's the cutest old man thing in the world to me.

We always just window shop, catch a movie or stroll in the park or

museum's on Sundays.  It's our day for God and spontaneous leisure.

***



Purdue Wrestling

I just adore my little Cousin Cam,

He wrestles for Purdue and has the biggest

personality. 

Good Luck this season baby cakes!!!!

***

 

 

Maebell Carter Wolfe

Happy Birthday to the best older

sissy in the world.  Mae turned 34 this week and im coming

up right behind her.  Daddy calls Mae Maebell from the

Carter sisters. Hope you have a wonderful week Sis.

Love you.

***

 

Happy Hump Day.

What a beautiful Day!  I've gotten so much accomplished this week, trying to keep myself busy so my long weekend comes faster and I can see my honey pie.
Tony and I have had such incredible challenges come our way, especially the past few months but we keep jumping over every hurdle and become stronger, better and more in Love with one another.
I know without my wonderful family and the real True friends We both have it would have been that much harder.
We will be looking at more apartments this weekend (SO EXCITING!!) and hopefully the lucky one will show itself...lets see lucky number???? I've lost count.
I can't wait to start with the kids at the other barn in Brewster NY. Pegasus Farm is a therapeutic riding center for disabled children.  There are retired Olympic horses to gentle family owned pony's.
My younger brother was involved with a program like this down in NC , just a wonderful program for children.
We're finally getting around to wedding planning, sheesh! I'm thinking wedding planner and I can pick the flavor of the cake.   I'm great at small dinner party's and that's pretty much as far as I go.  Thank God I have Tony to just make me laugh and de-stress me when I get a little overwhelmed , O and let's talk about those incredible Wolfe sisters!  Every Family should be so lucky.
Ok getting back to it, we're having an April shower wedding at the St Lawrence Basilica in Asheville NC and that's all we've got so far.  Haha.  Why am I craving pancakes at 11:00 pm at Night?
I am completely overcome with so much gratitude right now for the grace of God.  I cannot tell you how much I know that Heavenly Father has carried me this last year.  I have had miracles happen in my life.  Miracles. I am at peace with in myself.  All along the way I've been able to keep so very vividly in my mind the beautiful PLAN of this life - and the purpose of my trials and experiences.  And somehow I have actually been so grateful for all that I was going through, for it was teaching me how to tap into my divine potential.  Like Mara says I have become my best self.  Haha Well, always a work in progress.  Tony and I started to live in a way I thought I understood but never really did, having the desire to change and not waiting for change to fall in your lap, I don't depend on Him to make me happy, I'm making myself happy.  We helped each other to forgive others and one another, I think forgiveness is ESSENTIAL to moving forward.  It will liberate you more than 
you could ever imagine...and it will allow you to be more fully progress as a person.

Moving out of victim mode and forgiving were (and still are) two huge steps towards happiness for me.  It's amazing how empowering it is to realize that we don't have to live as victims and that those who "hurt" us in the past were doing the best they could based on the beliefs they had. 

 

Tips for a really really great marriage

• Speak REALLY kindly to each other.  Always!  Do not speak with a negative tone (ever).  It's possible to do this folks, if you want to.  Just sayin'.

• Make SERVING each other your highest priority. And make serving others your second highest priority. [There is nothing more attractive and endearing than a charitable person.]

• Speak highly of your spouse to others and then later, tell your spouse how fun it was to share what you did!  (Danny does this all-the-time when he is sharing our story with coworkers or people he meets throughout the day.  It is the sweetest thing in the world to me & makes me feel like a million bucks.)

• Do not EVER speak negatively about your spouse or complain about them to others.  Ever, ever, ever.  Just don't bring that kind of negativity into your marriage.

• Exercise & stay fit!  Makes for a positive outlook, healthy body, and great sexy time. :)  Speaking of...

• Have SEX AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE  :) :) :)  Make that a major, major priority!  Just start thinking about your spouse (naked) often.  And pretty soon you won't have to "make" anything happen.  It just will happen.  And maybe lots of you are saying, "Yeah, sure...you don't have kids...."  But on those nights that sex just simply may not be happening due to late nights or kids or work schedules or whatever.... well, I think that being intimate in ANY way counts for something.  So, make sure to always do SOMETHING each day........i.e.  let's see... crawling into bed naked or taking a shower together.  That would do it. :) 

• Say thanks to each other - a bunch - for all the little things your spouse does for you.

• Learn how to handle trials in a healthy way.  All the little ones...AND the big ones.  When you learn how to do this, you don't drag your spouse and family into your drama/dysfunction.

• Forgive for everything.  EVERYTHING.  I know this may take another post on what forgiveness is and how to do that, but no matter what, you've got to find a way to let go and remove anger, pain, and grudges from your heart.

• Praise for your spouse often. 

• Do not blame ANYONE for your unhappiness, especially your spouse of all people!  Make sure your peace and happiness is not based on your spouse.  Tricky to think that way... But it is the greatest advice I could give you.  It allows you to love your spouse/kids better when you do this.

• Pray together... EVERY DAY! When done sincerely and lovingly, it is the most beautiful thing to do together!!!!!  This can feel as intimate as sex.  hahaha.  I am telling you........DO IT and see what I am talking about!  You don't want to miss out on this!!!!!!!!!  Even if you are not religious, meditate together, share some meaningful words of gratitude & hope.

• Stay committed to God or to whatever gives you the greatest strength.  When you do this, your daily life will be aligned with good things and everything else above falls into to place so easily.

"A Blog About Love"
 

Love Story...

love story

Twenty(something) Questions: Writing a love story

By Joey Albanese

Joey Albanese

A year ago today, I moved for a girl.
She’s the kind of girl you’re nervous to introduce your parents to, you know? She’s a little rough around the edges. But you know they’ll love her eventually, once they see what she does to you.
She’s a bit of a bad girl. She breaks rules. She’s free, and kind of easy. And she gets around. People know of her. And of her parties. But the great thing is that you don’t really need an invitation. You can just sort of show up.
She’s a busy girl. Always with someplace to be. But that doesn’t make her any less present. She can strike up a conversation with anyone; doesn’t matter what they look like or how much money they make or where they went to school.  She’s not like other girls. She tells it like it is.
She’s always down for anything. It doesn’t matter the time of day. She’s like an antique watch with her hands stuck at 5 o’clock. She’s always got a cocktail in her hand and knows her way around the kitchen too. She dances even when there’s no music. And she’s got this thing about her that makes you want to be the same way.
Sometimes she makes you happy. Sometimes she makes you sad. She challenges you. She’ll even make you a little uncomfortable. But she makes you feel alive. She captivates you. She’s like a drug. And she leaves you wanting more.
She’s got style. Not like the girls you see in magazines or walking down the runway. There’s something humble about her beauty. Like she’s not trying to be anything. She’s got gorgeous hand-me-downs passed down from generation to generation that she crosses with something funky she made herself.
And she’s all about color. She mixes black and blue and gets away with it. Sometimes she looks like she hasn’t showered in days. But she pulls it off. She makes you want to wear blue jeans and the same white t-shirt everyday. It’s hard to believe she’s even American; you’d think she were European or something.
She’s a small town girl, though. With a lot of different beliefs. She’s not religious. Spiritual, I would say. She’s intuitive. There’s an energy about her. A knowing. That we’re all connected.
She’s not easy to be with, though. She’s got a lot of baggage. She’s been through a lot, and you can see it in her eyes. Trauma, neglect, loss of family members, economic hardship. But she’s open about it. She loves sharing her story. About how she hit rock bottom and managed to get back up again
People say she’s not supposed to be here. The odds aren’t in her favor. She wasn’t supposed to make it. But she’s a fighter. She lives in the moment. And seizes every day like they’re all one.
She’s the kind of person who never really changes. You can move away, find someone else who grabs your heart and lose touch. But years from now, you’ll think of her. Of her sweet scent on warm summer days, of those sleepless nights when she wouldn’t let you miss the sunrise, of the way she made you feel like there was no one else in the room.
And you’ll forget why you left. Because there’s no one else like her. And maybe you’ll come back for her. Maybe for a visit, maybe for good. But regardless, she’ll be here. And you can pick things up right where you left off.
If you meet her, you’ll know what I mean. Just follow the river all the way south and before you get to the swamps, ask for her. They’ll tell you where to find her. Just make sure you pronounce her name right.
It’s said like 'New Awlins.'

Joey Albanese writes about the twenty-something generation in New Orleans for NolaVie. Send him any questions or tell him the answers at joey@nolavie.com.

"How to Find True Love, rather how it finds you."

 

I Have a very dear friend David give me an article
that he cut out and stapled together. 

It's been sitting by my bed and
for some reason this morning
I felt compelled to grab it and read it. 

This article was very... sticky. real and lovely.  

I want to share some of this Essay with you. 

It's by Lois Smith Brady from "Love Lessons"

In my mid-20's I moved to New York City where Love is as hard to find as a legal parking spot. 
In my mind, love was something behind a tinted window, part apparition, part shadow, definitely unreachable.  Whenever I spotted Happy-looking couples, I'd wonder  where they found love and want to follow them home for the answer.  
After a few years in the city I got my dream job-writing about weddings for a magazine called 7Days.  I had to find interesting engaged couples and write up their love stories.  I got to ask total strangers the things I'd always wanted to know. 
    I found at least one sure answer to the question "How do you know it's love?" 
You know when everyday things surrounding you-the leaves, the shade of light in the sky, a bowl of strawberry's-suddenly shimmer with a kind of unreality. 
You know when the tiny details about another person, ones that are insignificant to most people, seem fascinating and incredible to you.  One groom told me he loved every-thing about his future wife, from her handwriting to the way she scratched on their apartment door like a cat when she came home. (I bet he told her all of these things too)
You also know it's love when you can't stop talking to each other.  Almost every couple I've ever interviewed said that on their first or second date, they talked for hours and hours.  For some, falling in love is like walking into a soundproof confessional booth, a place where you can tell all. 
    Finding love can be like discovering a gilded ballroom on the other side of your dingy apartment, and at the same time like finding a pair of great old blue jeans that are exactly your size and seem as if you've worn them forever.  I cant tell you how many women have told me they knew they were in love because they forgot to wear makeup around their boyfriend.  Or because they felt at ease hanging around the house with him in flannel pajamas.  There's some modern truth to Cinderella's take-it's love when you're incredibly comfortable, when the shoe fits perfectly.
   Finally, I think you're in love if you can make each other laugh at the very worst times-when the government is auditing you or when you're driving a convertible in the rainstorm or when your hair is turning grey.  As someone once told me, 90 percent of being in love is making each other's lives funnier and easier, all the way to the deathbed.
    Seven years ago I started writing about love and weddings for the New York Times in a column called "Vows."  And now that I have been on this beat for so long , a strange thing has happened:  I'm considered an expert on love.  The truth is, love is still mostly a mystery to me.  The only thing I can confidently say is this:  Love is a plentiful as oxygen.  You don't have to be thin, naturally blond, super successful, socially connected, knowledgeable about politics or even particularly charming to find it. 
   I've interviewed many people who were down on their luck in every way-a ballerina with chronic back problems, a physicist who had been on 112 disastrous blind dates, a clarinet player who was a single dad and could barely pay the rent.  But love, when they found it, brought humour, candlelight, home-cooked meals, fun, dancing, adventure, poetry and long conversations into their lives. 
   When people ask me where to find love, I tell  a story about one of my first job interviews. It was with an editor at a famous literary magazine.  I had no experience or skills, and he didn't for one second consider hiring me.  But he gave me some advice I will never forget.  He said, "Go out into the world.  Work hard and concentrate on what you love to do, writing.  If you become good, we will find you." 
You have to be confident in yourself before someone else can have or see the confidence in you.  You attract people that way.
    That's why I always tell people looking for love to wait for that "I won the lottery feeling"-wait, wait, wait!!  Don't read articles about how to trap, seduce or hypnotize a mate.  Don't worry about your lipstick or your height, because it's not going to matter.  Just live your life well, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, and don't mope too much.  Love will find you.
     Eventually it even found me.  At 29, I met my husband in a stationery store.  I remember that his eyes perfectly match his faded jeans.  He remembers that my sneakers were full of sand.  He still talks about those sneakers and how they evoked his childhood-bonfires by the ocean, driving on the sand in an old jeep-all those things that he cherished. 
   How did I know that it was true love?  Our first real date lasted for nine hours;  we just couldn't stop talking.  I had never been able to dance in my life, but I could dance with him, perfectly in step.  I have learned that it's love when you finally stop tripping over your toes. 
   With each story I hear, I have proof that love, optimism, guts, grace, perfect partners and good luck do, in fact, exist.  Love, in my opinion, is not a fantasy, not the stuff of romance novels or fairy tales.  It's as gritty and real as the subway, it comes around just as regularly, and as long as you can stick it out on the platform, you wont miss it.