I'm not one for silly top 10 ways to
do this or that, but, since these made me laugh
I thought I would cut and paste a few of them.
I don't know if there is a right or wrong way to getting
over someone you cared for. I have reacted differently with all my breakups
and the timeline has been very different with them all. However, 7 months and going
strong on this one, it sometimes seems it happened yesterday and
some days it's still as painful. I'm happy one day, angry the next and sad
after that. I'm getting whoop-lash from my own mood swings.
I can find a way to occupy my crazy thoughts at times and
forget it ever happened "to me."
I finally stepped out this weekend, for the EX Social Queen this
was a pretty big deal and I did have to be coaxed just a little. Not
as painful as I expected It to be. I guess what it really is-I don't
want to go through it all over again. I thought I was done. Meaning,
I was under the impression when I happily got engaged that I never
had to start over in this department. share my life and story's with
another person. Find that perfect dance I did so well with him with
another man. I'm depressed impaired morose exhausted just thinking about it.
I'm a very head strong individual who's a little too outspoken at times and I know what I want.
unfortunately, I cant have it right now. I'm sure there is a more lady-like way
to say this, but this day by day shit is annoying as Fuck!
Here’s a couple easy ideas for when your love troubles
have you putting on your ice-cream-eating-pants.
Donate blood. What?!?! Who just became a super philanthropic amazing person that the whole world should worship for her selfless deeds??? You did! Okay okay so you took 6 cookies and shoved them in your purse before asking for a second juice box but times are tough and since you no longer have a man to buy you dinners you’re going to have to get creative with your funds. Nobody can blame you for being thrifty.
Go for a run. And yes running from the cops definitely counts. We get it. You’re broke. You’ve got nothing to lose. And you were just joking when you told that bank teller to (and I quote) “Give me all your money lady!!!” (and pointed your fake gun at her)…how were you supposed to know she wouldn’t get your sarcasm. It’s not your fault she handed over that big stack of 50s! So go ahead and get your jog on…all that exercise will release some endorphins. So will using that money to buy heroin but I would suggest using it for a gym membership instead. Just a thought. Run Forest Run!
Bake a cake. Obviously I mean BUY a cake. Eat it. Isn’t that delicious. Mmmmm…now go throw it up because you won’t be able to do number 6 if you keep eating all these cakes, fatty. Hahaha just kidding!! You’re beautiful just the way you are and you know who is going to appreciate that??? All the hot guys who want to sleep (I mean value) you.
Sleep with a hot guy. Take pictures. (As souvenirs, not to send to your ex, that would be pathetic and creepy). If you can’t get a hot guy, sleep with a funny guy. If you can’t get that, sleep with a moderately good looking guy with average intelligence. Still can’t get one of those??? Okay well just try to fill one of the 4 major requirements. Hot. Funny. Smart. Rich. Anything else and you’re just settling. But that’s okay too. Hurray for settling. Is there any cake left???
Find a wingchick. They can be hotter or funnier than you but not both. And make sure they can say….”haaaaavvvvvvveeeee you met *insert your name*?” convincingly and with pizzazz. If they need training, make them watch videos of How I Met Your Mother over and over again with you until they get it. Make her aware that she’s Barney and YOU’RE TED. She can get laid on her own time! If she’s funnier than you, drink only diet sodas and eat fruit. If she’s hotter than you go ahead and eat chocolate. It’ll level the playing field.
