"What always happens. Life."

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 "There are things that we don't want to happen

but have to accept, things we don't want to know

but have to learn, and people we can't

live without but have to let go."

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Certain events and people happen in your life for a reason? For better? worse? Even if it was described as an unending circle of mingled mangled confusion. A very unhealthy cycle that eventually leads to the end.  You ask yourself what was it for.  Why was all this necessary? What lesson had to be learned so badly that you end up plaguing people you love with misery? WHAT'S THE POINT!

 I was staring in the mirror this morning and fixated on my eyes.  I noticed the sign of ageing and puffiness that not enough sleep brings.  I found stress and exhaustion.  I found laughter too.  To be insanely happy?  Is this a real emotion?  I cant remember this feeling. Maybe I was trying to find her again, me, I was talking to myself which happens more then I will share.  When you are uneasy or apprehensive about something and your looking for some kind of clarity that your making the right decision, you want to feel like you had a hand in the outcome. When you tell God I give these problems to you, It’s almost impossible to fully do this.  Because if we fully gave our distresses’ to him there would be no need for the heartache or unending days of depression that help you feel you participated in the final destination of the dilemma.  People are placed in your path for a reason.  Maybe this is true, No, I know it is.  We take the wrong road, path, bike trail or whatever it is sometimes, so we need these people to help us learn what he wants for our lives.  Someone very dear and very special to me said I am destined for great things.  I will come into my own one day then just take off.  Maybe he just meant one day I’ll be fulfilled and satisfied with exactly what I am doing, no matter how complex or simple it might be.  Maybe I need to just be happy and OK with right now.  Maybe I am Summer wishing I was Autumn.

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